Aging With Grace
by Dr. David Mokotoff
I asked my office staff to pull the number of patients I had seen in the past year over the age of 90. I had assumed that maybe I had a couple dozen nonagenarians, but was stunned when the number came back at 81. And two of those were over the age of 100. The personality of these folks has always fascinated me, and I was looking for a common thread. Did they get to this age because of luck, clean living, great medical care, or good genetic background? In the end, I have concluded that it is largely serendipity. However, what I did learn in listening to them, two or three times a year, was mostly a non-complaining, victimless view of life. For the most part, they had aged with grace.
One man who I recently saw, age 95, responded to my question, “So how are you feeling?” with the following: “I have some aches and pains, you know, but at my age, everyday is a bonus.” This is an attitude that I rarely hear out of my patients in their seventh and eight decades.
Another delightful woman, who will turn 105 in October, has an intact mind and touch of humor. Every time I see her for during a semi-annual visit, her first words, given from a mischievous half-smile, are “Are you surprised that I’m still here?” In truth, I am not surprised, but stunned. With the degree of her heart disease, and by all objective parameters, she should have died ten years ago.
This solidified my belief that one never really knows when they will die. Several years, two of my colleagues died in their fifties during a horrific private plane crash in North Carolina. So when my very elderly patients ask, “Will I see you next time?” meaning “Will I live another six months?” I answer, “I don’t know if I will be here in another six months.” This places the value of living one day at a time in perspective for them.
It seems to me that for many of those lucky enough to reach 90, they appreciate life more than the rest of us. For the most part, they approach life with optimism, gratitude, and grace. Maybe this is why they got to this station in life after all.
by Dr. David Mokotoff
I asked my office staff to pull the number of patients I had seen in the past year over the age of 90. I had assumed that maybe I had a couple dozen nonagenarians, but was stunned when the number came back at 81. And two of those were over the age of 100. The personality of these folks has always fascinated me, and I was looking for a common thread. Did they get to this age because of luck, clean living, great medical care, or good genetic background? In the end, I have concluded that it is largely serendipity. However, what I did learn in listening to them, two or three times a year, was mostly a non-complaining, victimless view of life. For the most part, they had aged with grace.
One man who I recently saw, age 95, responded to my question, “So how are you feeling?” with the following: “I have some aches and pains, you know, but at my age, everyday is a bonus.” This is an attitude that I rarely hear out of my patients in their seventh and eight decades.
Another delightful woman, who will turn 105 in October, has an intact mind and touch of humor. Every time I see her for during a semi-annual visit, her first words, given from a mischievous half-smile, are “Are you surprised that I’m still here?” In truth, I am not surprised, but stunned. With the degree of her heart disease, and by all objective parameters, she should have died ten years ago.
This solidified my belief that one never really knows when they will die. Several years, two of my colleagues died in their fifties during a horrific private plane crash in North Carolina. So when my very elderly patients ask, “Will I see you next time?” meaning “Will I live another six months?” I answer, “I don’t know if I will be here in another six months.” This places the value of living one day at a time in perspective for them.
It seems to me that for many of those lucky enough to reach 90, they appreciate life more than the rest of us. For the most part, they approach life with optimism, gratitude, and grace. Maybe this is why they got to this station in life after all.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment