by Annette Hall - March 2001
I guess Forrest Gump's mom was right, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you are not sure what you are going to get." In a very pure sense physically and emotionally my ability level can change from one moment to the next. Sometimes I'm able to walk without any noticable limitations. At other times, I have to grope to get from one destination to another, use my walker to get around, or walk like a toddler or a monster. My speech is similarly fluctuating. Sometimes my voice is normal. At other times it is mechanical or robotic. I had, on several occasions, preface my calls, "Please don't hang up, I am not a machine." I have learned to do this, after having people hang up on me because they thought I was a tape or someone playing a joke on them. My voice also changes from being very juvenile, to broken speech (lacking noun-verb agreement articles or prepositional phrases), to sounding like I am Jamaican or Latino. I stutter so much at times, I sound like Porky Pig. Sometimes I sound like one of the Little Rascals. I'm like a box of chocolates, you don't know who your gonna get.
My personality or rather emotions also changes. Though my ability to reason and understand is in tact, at all times, the way I interact fluctuates. The maturity level goes from quite innocent to that of a child during "tender years" to that of a mature adult. During the former, I lack tackfulness and tend to say what I think (yet not with intent to harm). My accountability to others is like that of a child to parent. In fact, when I do things for which I know there is likely to be some negative feedback, I'll say something like "I'm going to be on punishment" or "I'm in trouble." Also my sensitivity level changes. When my voice is juvenile, I tend to have a toddler's form of behavioral responses. For example, I am subject to cry at the drop of a hat for something like being moderately corrected(scolded). Also just watching something on television (or in actuality) where there is sudden excitement, where someone gets hurt (even if comical)I will start to tremor, cry, my arms will move like the robot in "Lost in Space" when he says "Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!!"
My life is like a box of chocolates, you don't know who you are going to get.
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